


Meteor Shower

by Mighty_Penguin_96



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, Fighting, Fluff, Idk where I’m going with this story, Lots of Crying, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Self-Indulgent, Suicide Attempt, Superpowers, Survivors Guilt, its kinda fluffy but its also got plot, luther is kinda dumb, ready to fight everyone for my baby girl Vanya, suicidal! Allison, the commission is still trying to end the world, the crime fighting gang is back at it, vanya is gay, you cannot convince me otherwise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-01-06 10:52:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18386969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mighty_Penguin_96/pseuds/Mighty_Penguin_96
Summary: In which Luther is an idiot, Diego is trying his best, Klaus needs a hug, Allison takes shit from no one, vanya has PTSD, and the apocalypse is avoided because no one tried to kill Vanya.





	1. Miles of Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> I love vanya with my whole heart and I ship her with Allison but they also need some fluffy bonding action. Idk where this story will take me. Enjoy?  
> Beware of angst.  
> Also this chapter starts at episode 10, when vanya is playing in her concert.

“I need to go alone.”  
“Allison, I can’t let you do that, all right? She’s beyond reasoning,” Luther responded, exasperated.  
Diego turned around. “You hear the music? It’s started!”  
“Do you honestly think she’s gonna listen? After everything that’s happened?” Luther was desperate now.  
Allison gave him a look.  
“We don’t have time for this,” Klaus added helpfully.  
Luther sighed. “Okay.”  
Allison took a moment. Was it genuine? It was so difficult to tell-  
The music from the orchestra reached a sudden crescendo, snapping Allison out of her thoughts. She turned and started walking towards the door.  
She wondered what she would say. She had tried talking on the way here- the best she could achieve was a hoarse whisper. It would have to be enough.  
“You’re using her as a distraction, aren’t you?” Diego’s voice carried farther than was intended, causing Allison to halt in her tracks.  
“Shit,” Luther muttered.  
Allison matched back to him and shoved Luther as hard as she could, causing him to stumble- a small victory.  
“Allison, I can’t lose you!” She glared at him. “Look, it’s what has to be done, okay? We have to go.”  
Allison took a shaky breath. She went up on her toes, about to kiss his cheek.  
He leaned down.  
She shifted closer to his ear. It was now or never. “I heard a rumor that you fell asleep for thirty minutes,” she croaked out. The effect was instantaneous- he slumped, causing her to catch him.  
“Woah, woah, Luther!” Diego said, grabbing him. Klaus followed suit. “Allison, what the hell?”  
Allison choked back a sob. “I heard a rumor that you guys only followed me if I needed backup.”  
Their eyes went white. She looked at Klaus, and grabbed her notepad. “Ben, I’m sorry.” Hopefully he would understand.  
She hurried back towards the orchestra, the music taking on a mournful tune. Down rows and rows, until she stood at the front row of the audience.  
Vanya.  
She had an unearthly glow about her, and her eyes were a ghoulish shade of white.  
But she looked so peaceful.  
Vanya’s eyes closed, lost in the music. When they opened again, she saw Allison.  
The barrage of emotions that passed her eyes in a matter was impressive. Angry, sad, guilty, suspicious... and then happy. She gave Allison the biggest smile anyone had ever seen on her, and seemingly transformed, her music becoming more emotional and powerful.  
Allison felt tears roll down her cheeks. Vanya looked beautiful.  
As she silently sobbed, her mind remembered all the wrongs she had caused Vanya.  
Ordinary.  
Freak.  
Beautiful.  
She didn’t belong.  
She doesn’t get to play with the other kids.  
Unearthly.  
She wasn’t good at the violin.  
She should give up.  
Sensational.  
Wonderful.  
Amazing.  
The concert was halfway through, everything was still standing.  
The members of the orchestra got up for their break. Vanya looked at Allison, and pointed backstage. Allison nodded.  
When Allison caught up with Vanya, Vanya grabbed her arm and started leading her, weaving around the other orchestra members. They finally stopped at a janitors closet. Vanya opened the door, and turned on the light.  
The overwhelming scent of bleach as Vanya pulled her in was all Allison could focus on at first. She looked at Vanya, got ready to say something, anything, and-  
Promptly broke into tears, sobs racking her whole body.  
Vanya just stood there, not knowing how to react.  
Allison wrote frantically on her notepad.  
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done I’m trying to make it better but i don’t know HOW I am so sorry and I love you I can’t b-“ Vanya caught Allison’s wrist.  
“Thank you for being here,” Vanya whispered. Allison looked up from the notepad to her. Her eyes were brown again. She crashed into Vanya, hugging her like their lives depended on it. “Allison, can you let go please?” Vanya asked politely, but she seemed upset. Allison let go. “Sorry, I appreciate the hug, but the last time I had a hug, Luther...”  
“I’m-“ Allison coughed. “So sorry, Vanya.”  
Vanya’s eyes widened. “You can talk? I thought-“  
“Hurts like a bitch to talk, but yes.” Her voice was still an ugly whisper.  
“Allison, I... I’m so sorry, I don’t know how to- I- I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Vanya’s eyes filled with tears.  
“I know.”  
Vanya looked up at Allison. She bit her lip.  
“This is probably a bad time to tell anyone this, but I think I might be gay?”  
Allison sputtered. “Uh, okay? I don’t, you’re- you’re 27, how has it taken this long to-“ Allison stopped as it dawned on her.  
“I think we both know why it took so long,” Vanya said gently. Allison flinched. “At least now we know why I couldn’t ever hold down a boyfriend?” Vanya tried to joke, but Allison was crying again. “Hey, hey, hey, it wasn’t on purpose, we both know it wasn’t, it’s not that big of a deal, I know now, it just-“  
“Stop. Please.” Allison couldn’t believe what she had done. “Will you... tell me why it took so long? I need to hear it. Don’t make excuses.”  
Vanya sighed. “Allison-“  
“Please.”  
“You rumored me to be ordinary. Ordinary in everything. And being gay... is not ordinary.” Vanya hesitantly pulled Allison into a hug as they both cried.  
“ALLISON?” Luther’s voice boomed through the backstage.  
“Oh, shit.” Allison looked at Vanya, who’s eyes had gone white. “Hey, Vanya, no, it’s okay-“  
The door was thrown open by Luther, who looked confused.  
“Allison, get away from her she’s dangerous!” Vanya flinched, and turned towards Luther, causing him to pull back a fist.  
“No!” Allison cried, jumping in front of Vanya. Luther’s full force punch hit her square in the chest, just below her throat. She collapsed instantly.  
She was out maybe two minutes, but when she opened her eyes, Klaus was crouched by her. It hurt to breathe. She grabbed klaus’s arm, and pointed to Luther and Vanya, who were both sizing each other up.  
“Guys! She’s okay!” Klaus’s voice seemed to break the spell holding them together. The both snapped their heads to look at Allison, and rushed towards her.  
“Diego, go get the Maestro. He needs to call off the rest of the concert. Luther, knock down a couple shelves of something heavy, make it look like it broke on it’s own. The cover story is that she was in the janitors closet looking for something- we don’t know what she was looking for- and the shelves broke and hit her chest.”  
“Hey, who put you in charge?” Luther asked, outraged, at the same time as Diego, who said, “What the hell is a maestro?”  
Vanya ignored Luther and told Diego, “the maestro is the guy who was conducting. We need an ambulance, she’s struggling to breathe!” She turned to Luther. “If you care about her, at all, you will go do what I said right now.”  
Diego and Luther both left in a hurry.  
“Allison, hold up how many fingers for how much it hurts?” Vanya asked gently.  
Ten fingers. It felt like breathing in needles, all of them stabbing her every time she moved. They heard a crash from the janitors closet.  
Vanya cursed quietly. “Allison, I’m going to feel around a little, very gently. Tap your hands on the floor if it gets unbearable, yeah?” Allison blinked in response.  
Vanya started feeling around her sternum first, slowly feeling upwards. She stopped just below the actual injury. Her eyes widened.  
“Klaus,” she whispered.  
“What, what’s wrong?” He looked. “Oh my god.”  
“Allison, look at me.” Allison’s eyes found Vanya’s as she felt herself beginning to panic. What were they freaking out about? “I need you to stay calm. Do you feel tired right now? Tap your hand twice for yes, once for no.”  
Allison tapped twice.  
“I need you stay awake, okay sweetheart? You’re okay, you’re gonna be okay, I don’t want to take any chances though.” Vanya turned towards Klaus, and yanked him by his shirt towards her. “I need you and whatever ghosts you have with you to all look for the maestro with Diego. Spread out, he’s here somewhere. I need to call the ambulance myself.” Klaus nodded, looking like he was about to wet himself, and left quickly. “Allison, love, focus on me, okay? Can you trace something on my hand while I call the ambulance?” Allison dutifully started tracing random patterns as Vanya got out her phone. “I need an ambulance at the Icarus theatre, quickly. There was an accident and she’s bleeding a lot. She said it hurts to breathe, on a scale of one to ten she said it’s a ten. I checked the wounds as best as I could without making it worse, and it is extremely severe. Please hurry.” Pause. “Yes, sorry, my name is Vanya Hargreeves. The woman injured is my sister, Allison Hargreeves. Thank you.” She placed the phone near Allison’s ear, and put it on speaker.  
The 911 operator spoke. “Hi Allison, I want you to know that you’re going to be okay. Do you understand? Tap your sister twice for yes, once for no.”  
Two taps. Vanya responded, “She said yes.”  
“Wonderful. You’re doing an amazing job Allison. I know it hurts, but an ambulance is on the way. Vanya, please let me know when the ambulance gets there, and keep talking to her.”  
“Uh, yeah, of course.” Vanya took a shaky breath. “I’m super happy you came to my concert. I hope you enjoyed it. It means a lot to me, and, uh...”  
A team of people with a gurney came rushing in.  
“The EMT’s showed up. Thank you,” Vanya said into the phone, and hung up.  
“Are you Vanya Hargreeves?” They asked her.  
“Yes. This is Allison.”  
“Awesome, we’re gonna get you up onto the gurney here and then take you to the hospital, okay? You’re gonna be okay.”  
They lifted her none-too-gently, causing her to cry out in pain. She felt something leak down her shirt.  
“Oh, shit,” one of the EMT’s said.  
“Michael, what the fuck?” Another EMT called. “Oh, god,” he said , when he saw what happened. They hurriedly strapped her in. “Ms. Vanya, get ready to run.”  
And they started pushing her to the ambulance, all of them running as fast as they could, all the while shouting, “Get out of the way!”  
A sharp turn cause more pain, a groan to come from Allison, and a blackout.


	2. Should I Wait Here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly hate my own writing so much so the fact that this is being so well received is making me so happy. Kudos and comments are how I survive so please tell me that you love me :’)

The steady beeping of a heart monitor was what Allison woke up to. When she opened her eyes, everything felt swimmy and fake, like she wasn’t actually awake. There was a dull ache in chest and throat, but breathing didn’t hurt nearly as bad as it did before.  
She looked around the drab, white hospital room. Vanya was in a chair with her eyes closed, but was breathing irregularly and her hands were clenched.  
“V-vanya?” Allison’s voice was hoarse, and shook.  
Vanya’s eyes snapped open at the sound of Allison’s voice. Her eyes flooded with relief. “How are you feeling?” Her voice seemed unsteady for some reason.  
“Loopy. But nothing really hurts anymore.”  
Vanya sighed. “Yeah, that’s the morphine. You got hurt pretty bad.”  
“What happened?”  
“Well, uh... Luther-“  
“No, no, I remember that part. How messed up am I? I don’t think you or Klaus wanted to tell me.”  
“He... completely shattered your upper rib cage and sternum. Some of the bone fragments pierced not only your skin, which was where all the blood came from, but also one of your lungs. The impact from the punch also tore your stitches. We’re... lucky you survived.”  
Allison took a breath. “Where is he?”  
“He hasn’t been here to visit. Said he couldn’t face you. I should probably call him that you’re awake.”  
“What about Klaus and Diego? And Five?”  
“I don’t know where Five is, I haven’t seen him. Diego and Klaus just went to the cafeteria to get me some food, they’ll be back in probably 45 minutes.”  
“Why didn’t you go with them?”  
“I haven’t left the room except to go to the bathroom, so...”  
“Why not?”  
“I... I hurt you, really bad. Almost killed you. And Klaus said that Luther was ready to kill me. You wouldn’t let him, you went in alone to save me. He tried to kill me and you still saved me. I- I couldn’t let you wake up alone, not with how much I owe you.”  
“He didn’t try to kill you, Luther would never. He’s just- he doesn’t think things through.”  
“Allison.” Vanya looked so tired.  
“What?”  
“Your upper ribcage lines up with my head. He shattered your rib cage, he was aiming for my head.”  
Silence.  
“Oh my god...”  
“I’m not mad at him. I was out of control. I’m... back on my medication. Thought it would be safest until someone could teach me to control my powers,” Vanya seemed to curl in on herself in the chair. “It doesn’t help that I hate hospitals. I probably would’ve hurt someone on accident again if I didn’t start taking my medicine again.”  
“What’s with hospitals?”  
“Uh, Leonard, or Harold, or whatever- he...” Tears filled her eyes. “Before I lost control and- killed- him,” her voice became very quiet, almost too quiet to hear. “He was in the hospital after a date. When we first found out about my powers. Some dudes were beating him up and-“ she hiccuped.  
“You lost control.”  
“I killed two of them. I don’t know what happened to the third, he’s probably dead, too. Or crippled for life.”  
“Vanya-“  
Klaus and Diego walked through the door with two trays of food, and a cup of coffee.  
“Vanya, we’re back~” Klaus sang, before halting in his tracks. He stared at me, then turned to Diego. “Please, is she-“ he cut himself off.  
Diego looked at me and smiled softly- the kind of smile no one had seen on him since we were all still kids. “Klaus, it’s okay. She’s awake.”  
“Oh, goodie!” Klaus was instantly back to his... unique self. He turned to Allison. “Want some... uh... I think it’s eggs? It’s kinda,” he poked the blob of eggs. It wiggled. “Uh. Jiggly.”  
“I’m not very hungry, but yeah I’ll have a bite or two. Vanya, help me up?”  
Vanya, with her hands feather light so as to not hurt Allison, helped her sit up slowly. Allison groaned in discomfort. Vanya’s grip tightened momentarily in panic, and then loosened just as quickly.  
“I’m okay, I’m okay,” Allison said, teeth gritted.  
“Okay,” Vanya said, anxiety evident in her voice.  
Klaus put the tray down on Allison’s legs, gently, as if he was afraid she would break.  
“Guys, I’m not dying, please calm down.” They all looked at each other. Vanya shuffled nervously, and Diego cleared his throat. “Guys?”  
“Allison, you remember how I mentioned that I started my medication again?” Vanya said, peering at her.  
“Yeah, because of your anxiety, right?”  
“I- yeah, anxiety.” She looked at the ground.  
“Vanya,” Diego ground out warningly. Vanya flinched.  
“There was... an incident.” Klaus added, trying to diffuse the tension.  
“An incident?” Allison asked. Diego snorted.  
“I... I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know I could do it.” Vanya said.  
Klaus looked uncomfortable.  
Diego swore under his breath. “God, guys, I’ll tell her. Chill out.” He sighed. “While we were in the ambulance, you crashed. Your heart stopped and the crash cart wasn’t bringing you back. Vanya was hysterical, Klaus was Klaus-“  
“Hey!”  
“I was trying to comfort Vanya. She suddenly got up, her eyes were white, and she put her hand on your chest. Right over your heart.”  
“She brought me back.”  
“Yes. The medication was her idea after we got to the hospital- she said-“  
“I wasn’t in control when I did that. It saved you, but next time I’m in hysterics? I could bring buildings down, as we’ve seen with-“ She stopped talking.  
“And the EMT’s were just, cool with the sudden, inexplicable resuscitation?”  
“Ah, uh, no, not really. Money is a good thing to have, however.” Diego said.  
Allison poked at her eggs. “Okay, great, I almost died on the way here. I’m not dead now, so could we just move on?”  
“I don’t think anyone has an issue with that,” Klaus giggled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I really really don’t know where I wanna go with this. It is most definitely going to be a slow burn, like even if it’s fluffy fluffy sister fluff it’s like slow burn for them to trust each other. Comment and tell me where you think I should go with this!


	3. Should I Make My Way Home?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I have the SAT today. :(  
> I’m gonna try to get out two or more chapters today though. We’ll see.

Healing was slow going.  
Allison had been in the hospital for over two weeks now- they were just starting to wean her off the morphine.  
Which led to lots of pain, crying, and not getting enough sleep.  
Poor Vanya- she stayed true to her word of only leaving to go to the bathroom, but even that wasn’t all that often.  
Diego had to return to work, so a lot of times, when Vanya was asleep especially, Klaus and her would spend time together watching TV, eating. They didn’t really talk much, though.  
At the moment, Allison was staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. Klaus has gone to find Luther and find out what to do about the Academy, and Pogo.  
Allison briefly wondered if Mom was actually gone. She knew it was an accident, but the accident cost lives. As angry as Vanya was, that was an extreme overreaction.  
Allison looked over at Vanya. Her eyes were closed in a restless sleep; she seemed so small. It was obvious how the hospital had been effecting her. The bags under her eyes were prominent, her skin had a pale pallor, and her food was almost always uneaten. Her medication was out, too, and she was the only one who could refill it. She hadn’t taken her medication for about two days now.  
Vanya started moving around in her sleep, her face drawn in a scowl. Allison tried to get up as quickly as possible, and stumbled over to her.  
“Vanya, Vanya, wake up, it’s just a dream,” Allison said, shaking her. Vanya woke up with a cry. When she saw Allison, she started crying. “Hey, hey, hey, no, don’t cry. You’re okay.”  
“I am such a horrible person,” Vanya sobbed.  
“What? No, you’re not.”  
“I am! I brought down the academy, I killed people! Multiple!” Vanya was nearing hysterics.  
“Vanya, sweetie, focus on me. Please. You’re okay.”  
Vanya suddenly gripped Allison’s arm. “Rumor me. Please. I don’t want to remember.”  
Allison felt as if she had been slapped. She stumbled back and sat on the bed. Suddenly all the times she’d rumored someone and regretted it came flooding back. Claire. Luther, Diego, Klaus, Vanya. She absentmindedly rubbed at her throat.  
“I... I can’t do that.”  
“Why? I’m asking you to. It’s important-“  
“Vanya!” Allison snapped at her, eyes fiery. “I hate using my power! I have tried to use it as little as possible recently, but I had to use it on Luther, Diego, and Klaus. To save you.” She pointed accusingly. “The time before that, I almost died trying to use it! And it’s gotten my daughter taken away from me! I hate my power, don’t ever ask me to use it ever again.”  
Vanya was shaking, her eyes shining; she was looking at Allison, but it seemed like she wasn’t aware, like she was asleep.  
“Oh, shit,” Allison muttered, going back up to her. “Vanya? Vanya, come back to me.”  
Vanya stayed glassy-eyed, so Allison stood up and held her in an almost-hug, and shushed at her, trying to get her to calm down.  
Eventually, Vanya calmed down, and she looked at Allison.  
“I’m sorry,” she whispered  
“I know,” Allison whispered back.  
“I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”  
“I know.”  
“I wanna go home.”  
Allison took a breath.  
“I know it’s my fault it’s gone but I want it back. I didn’t mean to- Pogo, Mom- I-“ Her lip quivered. Allison stroked her hair.  
“We don’t know what you’re capable of yet. There’s a possibility that you can fix it, if the situation with my heart was anything to go off of.”  
Vanya nodded, mute.  
“Only time will tell. Get some sleep, it’s,” She looked at the clock. “3 AM. With any luck, the doctor will stay true to his word and discharge me in the morning, yeah?”  
Vanya nodded again.  
“I love you,” Allison said, trying not to remember that the last time she said that, Vanya-  
“I love you, too,” Vanya whispered.  
When they woke up, the doctor did, in fact, discharge Allison. He prescribed some pain medicine- “Only take it if the pain is unbearable, this stuff is addictive.”- and they were good to go. Five and Klaus were in the car picking them up.  
“So you’re alive,” Five said.  
“Yeah.”  
“You can talk again.” Five arched an eyebrow.  
“Yep.” Her voice was still raspy, and would probably take months before it ever went back to normal- if ever.  
“Cool. Where we going?”  
“Can... can we go to the Academy?” Vanya asked, her voice meek.  
Five’s eyes softened when he looked at her. “You need to see it?” He asked gently.  
Vanya nodded.  
“Okay. To the Academy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls comment and kudo it makes me feel nice and fuzzy inside. Also would anyone be opposed to me pairing Allison and Vanya?  
> Last thing, I have a headcannon and I can’t wait to put it in place-


	4. You Said Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in a day. I no longer control my life.

Ruins.  
There were bricks and rubble all around.  
Vanya fell to her knees where the front door used to be.  
“Klaus.” She said, voice hoarse.  
“What can I do, Vanya?” Klaus said, gentle.  
“My violin. Please.”  
Klaus got up and grabbed the violin from the trunk, and set it down right next to her. She took it out of the case, and placed it on her shoulder.  
Deep breath.  
Then she started to play a mournful tune, heart wrenching, with guilt tied to every note.  
Five appeared next to Allison. “I didn’t know she knew this song.”  
“You know this song?”  
“Of course. Chopin. It’s Nocturne, uh...” he snapped his fingers a few times. “Ah! 20, in C sharp minor.”  
“Oh.”  
The music suddenly swelled, and the ground around them started rumbling gently.  
“Five...?” Allison said, worried.  
“Look,” he said, pointing.  
The Academy was rebuilding itself, but Vanya seemed oblivious. Her eyes were screwed shut, tears running down her face. It seemed like time was going backwards with the house- how it was being rebuilt. Brick by brick was replaced, before even little specks of seeming dust placed itself back on the house.  
Even when the house was back together, she kept playing. You could see the energy radiating off of her. It was being split two ways, one to upstairs, and one to downstairs.  
The song came to an end, and she fell back to her knees. Allison rushed towards her, and got there in time to catch her before she collapsed completely; Allison watched as her eyes went from white back to brown.  
“You’re incredible,” she breathed.  
Vanya looked disoriented. “What? What did I do?” She looked up. “Oh. Oh wow. I... I did that?”  
“I must say, it was awfully impressive to watch,” Five added. Klaus nodded, eyes wide.  
Footsteps were heard.  
“How did- what is she doing here’s?!” Luther’s voice boomed. Five teleported to behind him and knocked him out.  
The front door opened. Pogo stepped out, blood still on his vest, but he was alive.  
“Ah, good, you guys are home. I was hoping I could get an explanation from someone as to why I was dead, and now I’m not?”  
Everyone looked at Vanya.  
“Ms. Vanya, I must say, that is an interesting power you have there.”  
Vanya looked at him, her eyes wild and filled with fear. Allison stroked her hair. “Pogo, I think she needs some sleep,” said Allison.  
“Of course. Everything is intact, down to the last crack in the ceiling, so come in, and get as much rest as you need.”  
“Thanks, Pogo.” Allison tried to helped Vanya up, but when she couldn’t stand up, Klaus also started helping. Together, with a lot of panting and pain for Allison, they got Vanya up to her old room. They laid her onto the bed, and she stared blankly at the wall.  
“Allison?” Klaus said, gently.  
“What’s up?” Allison wheezed back, the pain in her chest intense and hot.  
“Your pills?”  
“In my purse. Left it downstairs.” Allison couldn’t catch her breath.  
Klaus left from the room, but Allison barely noticed. She leaned against the wall, and slid down, her legs splayed out in front of her. Why did everything feel so swimmy?  
Klaus appeared in front of her. It looked like he was trying to say something, but Allison couldn’t hear him, the sound of her own heartbeat was too loud. She felt herself feel mildly panicked, but she was so tired and her chest hurt so bad.  
She fogging registered Klaus opening her mouth for her, and a pill being placed in. He tilted her head and gave her some water, and forced her to swallow.  
Klaus disappeared. She closed her eyes, and images of Luther’s eyes going yellow as he tried to punch Vanya, Diego’s eyes going red when he got angry, Five’s eyes turning blue when he was doing equations, Klaus’s eyes becoming green when he talked to Ben, Vanya’s eyes were WHITE-  
Vanya’s brown eyes staring blankly at her, shining with unshed tears. Vanya looking at the ceiling like there’s nothing left to live for. Vanya’s eyes when she was in the cage. Vanya’s eyes when she saw what she had done to Allison. Vanya’s eyes when she noticed that Allison was there for the concert.  
Allison knew that her eyes turned pink when the Rumor overtook her. Briefly, a part of her wondered if it looked as terrifying as Luther and Diego’s eyes, or if it looked sweet and endearing like Klaus’s- Five’s used to be cute and endearing, but then he came back as a crotchety old man going through puberty a second time- Or as beautiful and breathtaking as Vanya’s were when she played violin.  
Allison opened her eyes to see Grace sitting in front of her, holding her hand.  
Grace looked like she was speaking, but everything was still distorted. At least her chest wasn’t burning anymore.  
Allison shook her head.  
Grace frowned, but stayed near her. Allison looked at Vanya in her bed. She wasn’t moving.  
Allison’s heading slowly started to come back to her. She looked at Grace again. “What happened?”  
“You pushed yourself too hard getting Vanya up here. It strained your lungs and aggravated your injury. Klaus said he gave you your medication. You should take it easy now, dear.”  
“How is Vanya?”  
Grace sighed. “She needs rest as well. We should probably leave her alone.”  
“I- okay. I’ll leave in a few.”  
Grace nodded, and left. Allison crawled over to Vanya. She was still staring blankly at the ceiling. “Vanya?”  
No response.  
“Vanya, I gotta go to my room to rest. If you need me, you know where I’m at.” Allison got up and started walking away, wobbling slightly.  
The bed creaked with movement. She heard Vanya try to say something, but the only word that she actually understood was “Go.”  
Vanya cleared her throat. “Please don’t go.”  
“Vanya, I need to lay down. And sleep?”  
She stood up. “Lay down here. I need to practice my violin.”  
Allison wanted to ask if that was a good idea, if it was safe, but the broken look in Vanya’s eyes stayed her tongue. Allison nodded. “Okay.”  
Allison laid down while Vanya disappeared for a moment. She reappeared with her violin. Allison’s eyes drifted closed as Vanya began to play. It was full of emotion, with high notes and scales everywhere.  
Then Vanya stopped playing, Allison opened her eyes. “That was beautiful,” she said. Vanya blushed. “What song was it?”  
“Thanks,” Vanya said. “I played the introductory movement for Beethoven’s Concerto in D Major. It’s one of my favorites.” Allison hummed.  
“Do you ever get tired of playing classical?” Allison asked suddenly.  
“What do you mean?”  
Allison felt very self conscious for a moment. “I don’t know, I just… It seems like it might get boring? Contemporary music is nice, do you ever play any of it? Like that Linda Metal person.”  
Vanya let out a loud, full body laugh. “You mean Lindsey Stirling?”  
“Yeah, that lady. Do you ever do any of that stuff?”  
Vanya shifted, then walked to her record player. She pressed play on the player, and lifted her violin to her shoulder. The song she was playing started slow, then the track’s guitar started playing, and the music picked up; it sounded eerily familiar, but Allison couldn’t put a name to it. It was a very complex song, super fast- and then all of a sudden the song slowed down.  
Allison thought the song was ending, but then it picked back up- it almost sounded like an anthem.  
Vanya looked absolutely engrossed in the song- Allison couldn’t take her eyes off of her.  
The song suddenly crescendoed, going higher and higher before finally falling back down and ending. Vanya opened her eyes. Allison stared at her.  
"That song was Phantom of the Opera, if you didn't recognize it." Vanya noticed Allison staring. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Vanya asked. Allison blinked lazily at her.  
“Have I ever told you how incredible you are?”  
“I- I don’t really think so, not before today… or maybe the concert? I don’t remember. The concert is all fuzzy.” Allison looked at the ground. “Sorry.”  
“No, you’re right. I don’t think I ever actually have told you anything nice before dad’s funeral,” Allison admitted.  
“Well, uh…” Vanya looked awkward. “We could get to know each other? Maybe?”  
“Oh, like 20 Questions?”  
“I- I guess? I’ve never played that before.”  
“We just ask each other questions until we’re bored, like, uh… What’s your favorite color?”  
“Purple. What’s yours?”  
“Blue. Like the purest blue you could think of, or the ocean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allison/Vanya is now endgame. But it will be very slow.  
> Also, you should think about listening to the songs listed in this chapter. They're beautiful.


	5. Problems That Don't Exist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a little bit shorter than i wanted, but its got a lot going on, i think, so its okay. I explain my headcannon in the notes at the end, but i would read the chapter first tbh  
> CONTENT WARNING FOR CUSSING

They spent the better half of the evening talking, learning about each other- favorite foods, movies, first kisses, first everything.  
Allison was captivated by her, all of the things she didn’t know about the woman whom she’d known for her entire life. When they got worn out from all the giggling, they just fell asleep, Allison in the bed, Vanya on the floor.  
Diego knocked on the door. “Vanya? Do you know where Allison is?”  
Vanya sat up blearily. “Yeah, she’s in here with me. Why?”  
“Luther is awake. We put him in the cage to keep him subdued, but I don’t think it’s working very well.” Vanya bolted up and marched to the door as Diego laughed humorlessly. “We think Allison might calm him down.”  
By the time he finished his sentence, the door flew open, and Vanya’s fist met Diego’s nose. “OW! Mother fucker!”  
“Why the fuck would you put him in there? That thing is an object of horrors!” Vanya practically screamed at him.  
“I didn’t think that you’d have such a big problem with it-” Vanya was already gone, running past him. Allison trailed her, shaking her head at Diego in disappointment.  
When they all reached the basement, Vanya was already trying to open the cage. Trying, but not doing very well. Spaceboy was in control, eyes yellow, hitting the door like a maniac.  
“Vanya, be careful-” the door finally opened. Luther jumped out, and grabbed Vanya by her throat. “Luther! Let her go!” Allison ran up to them, and started grabbing at Spaceboy’s arm. Spaceboy looked at her, and threw her against a wall.  
Pain laced up her back, and she felt her control slip a little bit. Rumor was screaming at her, trying to get out. She pushed Rumor back, and got up, groaning. “Luther, I swear to god if you don’t put her down, I will hate you forever.” She saw Luther break through for a second, before Spaceboy came back and scowled. He looked at her. “You don’t get to tell me what to do, whore. This bitch tried to kill all of us.”  
Her control slipped more. “Luther, don’t make me do this.” Vanya’s eyes were white, and she was turning blue.  
Spaceboy sneered at her. “Whatever,” he said.  
Allison looked at Vanya again. She had stopped trying to fight, and just hung there limply, trying to breathe. Allison gave up control to Rumor.  
Rumor was not happy.  
“Should’ve given up when you had a chance, bitchboy.” Luther’s eyes flickered again, but remained yellow. Rumor sneered. “I heard a rumor that you put her down, and calmed the fuck down!”  
Spaceboy dropped Vanya, who crumpled to the ground. Rumor saw her start breathing again.  
“Spaceboy, give control back to Luther.”  
“You misunderstand, Rumor. Luther is angry- he let me out voluntarily. He wanted me to take control.”  
“Well, Allison needs to talk to him. So let him out.”  
“You let her out first. Luther is all ears.”  
Allison felt her missing senses return to her- it felt like she was emerging from underwater, where everything was muffled and murky but she could tell what was happening.  
“Spaceboy?” Allison said gently. Spaceboy grunted. Allison sighed. “Luther? Please come back. I need to talk to you.”  
Spaceboy sighed again. “I don’t know what he sees in you,” he spat. Allison watched as the scowl left his face, and Luther’s eyes turned back to its normal, passive grey.  
“Thank god,” she said.  
“I… didn’t mean to lose control like that.”  
“And what makes you think she did?”  
Luther sat down with a thump. “She’s too powerful though. Losing control for her means-”  
“That she’ll kill people?” Allison interjected. “Sorry Luther, but the only one who has repeatedly tried to kill anyone has been you. She didn’t pass out because of your stellar personality, of course.”  
He looked at the ground. “But… Pogo! And Mom!”  
“First, you wanted to kill Mom, too, dude. Remember? She was just ‘Grace’ to you half a week ago.” Allison sighed deeply. “She’s been trying to right her wrongs. She’s doing her best. You keep trying to hurt her, and that hurts me, Luther.” Her eyes filled with tears, and her hand went to the necklace. “All my life, I’ve thought you were the sweetest, kindest leader ever. You cared for us when Mom was recharging, when Pogo was asleep, when Dad was Dad. I’ve compared every man I met to the man I thought you were.” She undid the clasp. “You’ve been on the moon for too long, Luther. I love you, but you’ve forgotten how to love. Just like Patrick.” He met her eyes, looking like he was just slapped. She handed the necklace to him gently. “I’m sorry, Luther. Maybe, if you became as sweet and empathetic and loving to everyone that you used to be… Maybe I could consider it. But you’ve hurt me too bad. You’ve hurt her too bad, you’ve hurt Klaus too bad, and you’ve hurt Diego too bad.” Luther had tears running down his face.  
“Put me back in the cage, then. I’ll stay in there for the rest of my life.”  
“I fail to see how that redeems you,” Diego interjected.  
Luther bared his teeth at him; Diego snorted, and Luther grimanced. “What do you suggest, then, O Wise Wannabe Leader?” Luther mocked.  
Allison scoffed.  
“Get a fucking job, man. Learn about the world. Play sports. Move on with your life like you were supposed to. Come back later or something.”  
Luther looked at Allison. She nodded.  
He got up. “Okay.”  
And he left.  
Diego scooped Vanya up and started leaving the basement. “You coming, or what?” he called.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so headcannon time if i didn't explain it well enough in the story.  
> all of the kids have alter egos (Luther's is Spaceboy, Diego's is Kraken, Allison's is Rumor, Klaus's is Seance, Five's is Boy, Ben's is Horror, and Vanya's is Violin) when the alter ego takes over (Easy to happen on accident if theyre in pain or scared/ strong emotions) their eyes change color- (in order with their numbers- Yellow, Red, Pink, Green, Blue, Purple, and White) and how it feels differs from person to person (i am like 90% sure i'll go into it in the story) but its basically really dangerous disassociation lmao.


	6. Why Do I Let Myself Dream Like This?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW FOR PANIC ATTACK, AND ATTEMPTED BUT ACCIDENTAL SELF HARM  
> Hi I’m a bit late I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to post it when I finished writing this chapter and then kinda... forgot to post lol. Next chapter is almost done  
> ALSO I FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO FORMAT!!! But I’m not fixing the previous chapters bc A) I’m lazy and B) I will die like a man

Allison spent the day with sleeping Vanya in the infirmary. Her neck was bruised pretty bad; Grace had said that there might be minor damage to her vocal cords. 

It’s a miracle she was alive.

Being choked for that long would also usually have resulted in brain damage, but Grace said that her brain scans were normal. (“It’s abnormal, to be sure. It probably had something to do with her powers. I’m going to make her some pancakes for when she wakes up.”)

Allison really didn’t know why she cared so much. She’s always overlooked Vanya, always wanted to be the best, no matter who she stepped on.

Guilt, perhaps?

Allison’s eyes burned with exhaustion, but every time she closed her eyes, she saw Vanya crumple in front of her, over and over- Spaceboy’s yellow, unforgiving, eyes boring into her soul, uncaring of her pain, uncaring of Vanya’s pain, uncaring-

Allison felt her eyes burn harder, this time with tears. She was so tired. 

Usually thinking about Claire made her feel better, but this time, it made her curl into a ball, heart thumping erratically. 

Patrick already called the court, no doubt- he said he would right after Reginald’s funeral. 

She wasn’t able to see Claire unless Patrick gave the okay.

It felt like hours that she sat like that, howling in agony. 

Klaus showed up.

“Allison? Allison, what’s wrong? Is it your chest? Do you need your medication?”

Allison shook her head, sniffling.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He looked to his side- Allison saw his eyes flash bright green for a second. “Ben, I’m doing my best. Yes, I know she’s having a panic attack! What am I supposed to do?” He reeled back, like something Ben said was preposterous. “‘Talk to her’? What am I supposed to say?” This part was hissed quietly- “What on earth do we have in common?” He sighed, and looked back at Allison, who was hyperventilating, and clawing at her neck. Klaus grabbed her wrists. “No, let’s not do that, okay? Yeah, that it. Focus on me, you’re okay.” He peered at her curiously. “I’m gonna tell you a story, yeah?” She gave a small nod. “I know what you’re going through. I know that look in your eyes. You lost someone. I don’t know who it is- Luther left, but I don’t think you’d be this hurt over it. I… those psychos that attacked the house, looking for Five? Hazel and Cha-Cha. They kidnapped me. When I escaped, I took something with me, thinking it might have money. I- Five said it was from the Commission, his old workplace… It gave me the ability to time travel. I got dumped into Vietnam, 1968. The look you have, I’ve seen it. When we got out of a battle, and someone lost a drinking partner. I saw it in the Vietnamese civilians whose fathers, husbands, brothers… never came back. So many lives were lost. Sometimes, the lives I had to take…” He shook his head, and smiled at her. “Well, that’s a different story. There was a man. He showed me the ropes, gave me a friend. We went drinking together a lot. He was… Kind. Strong.” Klaus had a faraway look in his eyes. “He inspired me to get clean. I-” Klaus choked. “I loved him. He was the most amazing person I had ever met. I held him when he died. I remember how hopeless I felt… I… I’m still clean for him. I lost him and I keep waiting for a time to see him again, I keep waiting for him to come visit me… He hasn’t yet. I don’t know why. I’m not sure I ever will. I’m not sure he’ll ever come visit me, at this rate. I-” Klaus grabbed the necklace he was wearing. Allison was surprised to see that it actually wasn’t a necklace- she had never noticed that it was actually dog tags. He let Allison read it.

**‘TURNER, DAVID J. US65258772. O POS 567-31-9834. METHODIST.’**

“I miss him. But I keep going on the off chance I might see him again.”

Allison pulled him into a hug. “I’m sorry you had to go through something so horrible.”

“It’s okay, I’m managing. Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah. Thank you. I… I don’t know what got into me.”

“That’s okay. I don’t mind.”

They sat like that for a while before Klaus extracted from his grip.

“If you’re feeling better, I’m gonna go. I have to find a job soon, yeah?”

“Klaus Hargreeves? Getting a job? Oh no, get me a blanket, I think hell has frozen over,” Allison cackled. 

“Yeah, yeah, you’re so witty. I gotta get on my feet somehow, right?” Klaus laughed. “I’m thinking about going to that Griddy’s Donuts place. Heard they’re looking for a new,” he stood up and struck a dramatic pose, “barrrrrrrrrrrrrrristaaaa!”

Allison burst into giggles again. Leave it to Klaus to make everything better.

Klaus crouched back down. “Are you going to be okay if I leave, or do you want me to stay?”

“It’s okay for you to go, but, um…”

“What’s up, superstar?”

“Can you tell Ben something for me?” His eyes flashed green. 

“He’s listening. Go ahead.”

Allison suddenly felt very stupid. “I… I just want him to know that I miss him. And… And I remember his eyes. And that I’m sorry about what happened to him. I should’ve been there. And…” Allison took a steadying breath. “I wanted to know if he remembered the games we played, like, uh, news reporters, and fashion models, and stuff.”

Klaus looked to his side and cocked his head. “Wait,” Klaus said, standing up. “I… I think I read in some of dad’s notes that I…” He trailed off and looked at his hands, standing up. He made two fists, and shut his eyes really tight. Blue tendrils of energy started emerging from his fists and led to a place right next to him. Suddenly, there was a man standing, bathed in blue light.

“Ben,” Allison breathed. She got up and stumbled to him. Klaus crowed in triumph.

“Hi, Allison,” Ben replied. Everything about him was the same, preserved in his 18 year old body. Allison reached forward to touch his face, afraid that she’d pass through him, but was delighted when she found he was corporeal. She slammed into him with a hug.

Klaus was breathing heavily. “Allison, I’m glad you’re having a good time, but I don’t think I can hold this much longer,” he wheezed.

Ben clutched Allison harder. “I’ve missed you, too. I’m proud of you.” Allison felt him flicker. “And yeah, I remember.”

And then he was gone. Klaus fell to his knees, exhausted. Allison gave him a hug, too.

“Thank you, Klaus. That was… that was amazing. Thank you.” She helped him up. “Go rest. Griddy’s Donuts can wait another day.” He nodded, and left, silent.

Allison fell into the chair by Vanya’s bed, and fell asleep, remembering Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls comment I love you guys


	7. We're Floating Away (My Body's In Space)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm disappointed in myself because i've done more research for this story than i have even done for my history class. I no longer own my life- I have been enslaved by umbrella academy

Allison woke to Vanya’s screaming.

She was up in an instant, at Vanya’s side, her hands on her cheek and her hair. 

“Sh, sh, sh, you’re okay, I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

Vanya looked at Allison, her eyes warring with different emotions. Guilt, sadness, fear.

There was an emotion in there that Allison couldn’t put her hand on. It looked like a want of some sort, but Allison couldn’t tell what it was.

Vanya put her hands on Allison’s face. “I’m sorry.”

“I know. It’s okay.”

Vanya tightened her grip a little. “No, you don’t understand. I’m sorry!” She repeated.

“So am I.”

Vanya let one arm fall. “What for?”

“Not protecting you. Not being able to get you away from Luther. Not being able to get you away from Leonard. Making you mad all the time.”

“You don’t make me angry, Allison.”

Allison chuckled humorlessly. “I don’t think my injury happened because I was your favorite person in the world.”

Vanya grimaced, and sat up. “Sit,” she said, pointing to the hospital cot. “I don’t know what your powers are like for you, Allison. I don’t know what it feels like when Rumor takes over for you. But Violin doesn’t… Just take over. Maybe one day I’ll have to worry about fighting for control, but right now, it’s like she’s tired. Like she just woke up. Which, to be fair, she just did. Violin only takes over when I’m scared, life or death situation. She took over with Luther- she helped me survive. But I’m… still aware of what’s going on. It feels like watching from the sidelines, when your big tough friend decides to stand up for you. You can hear everything, you can’t feel anything though. But you know if you asked her to stop, she would.” Vanya took a breath. 

Allison looked at her. “That’s actually pretty cool,” She admitted.  “Mine is more…more like going underwater. Cold water. It’s dark and murky and you can’t really breathe all that much and it’s cold to the point your skin turns numb. It scares me, to be honest.”

Vanya held her hand. “It’s okay.”

“Well, no, it’s not. It sucks. I wish it didn’t feel  that way, because I know Rumor is powerful. I know we have the same ability, of course, but on top of that, she has a lot of physical strength. She’s always listening, looking for threats, and is constantly making me pay attention. It’s kinda tiring, to be honest.”

“What do you think it’s like for everyone else?”

“No idea. I think Ben used to say that when Horror took over it was excruciating.”

“Oh. Isn’t… isn’t that what…”

“Horror tore him apart. Ben always talked about how Horror felt malicious, how he couldn’t be controlled. Dad didn’t like that, and pushed him harder. He was on a mission, and… I was supposed to be his backup. But I wasn’t. I was fighting my own people, trying to get people safe. He pushed himself too hard.”

“That’s not your fault.”

“Isn’t it, though? He died because I couldn’t protect him. I should’ve been there.” Allison sighed. “Luther used to have nightmares about it. Dad blamed him for his death. Something about being a leader means you can’t just let us die?”

Vanya hummed, and looked at her hands. 

Allison cleared her throat. “Anyways, how are you feeling? How’s your neck?”

Vanya winced, like she forgot it was there. “It’s tender. Doesn’t hurt to talk though.” She yawned. Allison followed suit. “Hurts to yawn, though,” Vanya chuckled.

“You should probably get some rest,” Allison said, getting up. Vanya grabbed her arm.

“Stay? Please?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right in the chair, don’t worry.”

“No, I… I keep having nightmares. About you, and Luther, and Leonard. Over and over, everything I’ve done wrong. It’s… terrifying. I-” She took a breath. “I don’t know, it’s weird, I just… really wanna be held? Like… cuddled while I sleep. If that’s okay.”

“Vanya,” Allison started.

“Actually never mind. I’m sorry, it’s weird, forget I said anything.”

“Vanya.”

“Good night, you’re fabulous, sleep tight.”

“Vanya!”

She looked at Allison.

“Scoot over. It’s not weird.”

The cot was small, so it was difficult to fit. Allison ignored the fluttery feeling in her heart, and fell asleep feeling like she was floating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i love all of you thank you guys that always comments you have no idea how much it means to me


	8. We Are Going Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW FOR ATTEMPTED SUICIDE

Allison would never admit it to anyone (except maybe Vanya) that that was the best she had slept in years, possibly ever. 

She dreamt of flying. Vanya was there the entire time, and she felt so safe. Vanya would never hurt her.

She woke up with Vanya still curled up around her, arm across her stomach, head rested as far into her as possible. Her breathing was even, calm, her lips curled in the ghost of a smile. Allison dared not move.

So she didn’t. Thirty minutes later, Grace came in holding breakfast. She looked surprised at how they were laying, but smiled gently. “Nightmares?” She asked quietly.

Allison nodded.

“Well, it’s breakfast time. I’ll let you wake her up.” The door shut with a quiet click.

Allison stayed still for a little bit, relishing how relaxed she felt, with Vanya presses into her side. The scent of eggs and waffles slowly flooded her nose, then the Klaus’s muffled “WAFFLES!” and fast footfalls above them. Allison chuckled at it. Vanya started to stir.

“Hey, hun, how are you feeling?” Allison spoke softly, running her hand through Vanya’s hair while she yawned. Vanya froze, and opened her eyes.

“Allison! Hi, uh. Bed? Sleep? Um.” It was obvious that Vanya’s brain had not woken up yet- Allison burst out laughing.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just,” Allison heaved. “The look on your face was priceless! Oh my lord.”

Vanya rubbed her eyes. “I can’t believe you actually stayed throughout the night. I was expecting you to leave as soon as I fell asleep.” She got up. “I’m assuming it’s breakfast time?”

Allison nodded. “I wouldn’t leave,” she said softly.

“What?”

“I said I wouldn’t leave.”

Vanya took a breath. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Allison.”

“I can, and I will keep that promise. I’m not going anywhere. You’re my…” something stopped her from saying sister, though she couldn’t figure out what. “You mean too much to me,” she amended.

Vanya snorted. “Yeah, Leonard said something pretty similar. Turns out he was just using me.” 

Allison bolted up and grabbed Vanya. “Don’t compare me to that psycho,” she said, teeth gritted. 

Vanya looked at her, defiance in her eyes.

“Why not? I barely know anything about you. We never got to know each other until last night, remember?”

Allison let go of her. “Fine. I’ll see you at breakfast.” Tears stung in her eyes. She started to walk out the door. Vanya said nothing.

The tears started streaming down her face. She felt so stupid. Who was she, to waltz into Vanya’s life at the last minute, and think that everything would be fine, safe, that Vanya would be HAPPY to have her around? Vanya was probably only using her. But for what? What could she possibly be using her for? Fame? She was already a renowned violinist. Revenge? On Luther? 

It’s probable. Using her to get to Luther, make him jealous, stab him where it hurts the most-

But Luther was gone. No one knows where he went. So what’s the point of using Allison to get to him?

She passed the kitchen, the scent of food causing her stomach to twist painfully. She felt sick. She kept walking.

Out the door.

Passed the shops next door. 

All the way to the Icarus Theatre.

It was empty.

She walked to the janitors closet that Vanya and her seemed to fix everything in. 

Not only was it locked, it also had a sign saying it was unsafe.

She kept walking.

To the catwalk.

A fall from this height would be… potentially fatal. She felt Rumor struggle for control as soon as t was clear what she wanted to do.

A sob escaped her. 

What was she supposed to do, leave a note? What kind? To who? How would she know they would get it?

She searched for paper and something to write with. All the way down to the box office, still searching.

She found it.

Rumor screamed in rage.

She took it back up to the catwalk, thinking of what she could say.

She started writing.

_ You would think that I wouldn’t need validation or love because I’m famous.  _ ~~_ Half of America loves me so why would I need love _ ~~ _ I need a lot of validation.  _ ~~_Patrick_ _Claire_ _Patrick_ _Luther_~~ _ Patrick called the court after Dad’s funeral. I failed to uphold my agreement of going to therapy in order to see Claire. He won’t let me near her ever again. She’s never going to know who I am. Maybe that’s a good thing. I’m selfish and stuck up and I expect more from people than they’re willing to give. I tried to swear off using my power because of all the shit it’s caused,  _ ~~_ but _ ~~ _ and I couldn’t even do that. I’m a failure. I don’t belong here. _

_ I have no reason to be here. _

She stood on the edge of the catwalk. 

The door to the theatre opened loudly.

Footsteps. Slowly, then broke into a run. “Allison!”

Allison took a breath. Rumor fought harder. Note in hand. Her toes curled over the edge.

“Allison!” Frantic, right behind her.

She jumped.

“No!”

Allison felt a hand close around the top of her shirt. She screamed.

“Diego, god, help me! I can’t lift her on my own!”

Allison felt two more pairs of hands grab her as she hung limply, tears streaming down her face.

They set her down on the catwalk. Vanya, Klaus, and Diego all looked at her concerned.

“Is she okay?” Diego asked quietly.

“Does she fucking look okay?” Klaus said back. 

“Allison, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean what I said,” Vanya said.

“God, Allison, what were you thinking?” Klaus said.

“Guys.” Diego reached for Allison’s hand.

“What’s that?” Vanya asked. He handed it to her. Her eyes widened in mute horror. “Allison.”

Fresh tears ran down Allison’s cheeks.

“We need to get her home,” Klaus said gently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry this chapter started all fluffy and I wanted it to be fluffy and then it wasn’t fluffy??? Ahhhhh????


	9. Missing Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy fluffy THE SLOW BURN ALMOST ENDED AND THEN I CHANGED MY MIND WHOOPS

Allison stared out of the car window blankly. Vanya has her hand on her knee, her thumb idly rubbing. Klaus was in the front passenger seat with Diego driving.

All the people they passed had some sort of emotion on their face. Some smiled, some frowned- but none of them seemed like they were tired of their lives.

Allison briefly wondering how many felt like their life was a lie.

The car stopped in front of the academy.

“Here we are,” Diego sighed. He looked at Allison and Vanya, concerned. “Can she get out on her own, or should I carry her in?”

“Allison?” Vanya cupped her cheek with a band gently.

Allison still stared blankly.

“She needs to be carried,” Klaus said quietly. 

Diego got out of the car, and opened her door. Vanya unbuckled her, and Diego scooped her up. Klaus trailed closely before grabbing her hand.

“It gets better,” he said. 

She blinked at him. How could it ever get better? Everything felt so hopeless. Even Rumor was tired.

It was barely even noon. The house still smelled like waffles.

She cried more, silent tears running down her cheeks.

Up the stairs, dropped off into her room. Diego stood by the door awkwardly while Klaus bustled about to get her various things- a blanket, a glass of water, a chocolate protein bar as well as a strawberry breakfast bar (“Options are IMPORTANT, Diego.”), a stuffed animal to cuddle, a book for if she gets bored. At the end of it, he patted her hand, and kissed her forehead.

“You’ll be okay,” he said. His eyes flashed. “Ben agrees with me. He believes in you.”

Slowly, Diego and Klaus both left. Vanya stayed standing in front of Allison. When Allison finally looked up at her, she could see Violin warring for control- her eyes flashed white, then brown, then a light brown, to a murky grey, to brown again. Vanya closed her eyes. When she opened them, they were her normal, warm brown. She took a few breaths.

“I’m sorry.”

Allison didn’t reply.

Vanya started crying. “I didn't mean what I said. I didn’t- I didn’t mean for this to happen. What can I do to help? I hate seeing you like this.”

Allison looked down and shook her head.

Vanya sniffled. “You’re nothing like Leonard. As soon as you walked out the door I regretted saying that. I went down to eat breakfast, and I was going to apologize, and… I didn’t realize. I’m sorry.”

Allison shrugged, then laid down. Vanya sat down on the ground by the bed. 

“I want to make this better. Please.” Vanya’s voice broke, and something twisted in Allison’s gut. She scooted over in her bed, and patted the empty space.

“Stay?” her voice was broken and tired, but Vanya understood. She shimmied under the covers and allowed Allison- with the 5 inch difference between their heights- to curl up around her. 

“I’ll never leave,” Vanya said. She pressed her nose to Allison’s hair, her lips gently resting on Allison’s forehead. Allison felt the tension drain out of her.

Allison sighed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Vanya whispered against her skin.

Allison nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“I read the note. It wasn’t just me?”

Allison shook her head. 

“Claire?”

Nod.

“Patrick, too?”

Nod.

“What happened?”

“Can’t see her again. Miss her.”

Vanya hummed, lips still pressed to Allison’s forehead.

“What you did isn’t okay,” Vanya said. Allison nodded. “You should talk to me. I might be able to help.” 

_ NO! _ Rumor screamed. Allison shook her head violently. Vanya pulled away. 

“Allison.”

Tears started running down Allisons face.

“Allison, focus on me. Listen to what I’m saying. Can you do that?”

Allison nodded, looking at her.

“I’ve been where you’re at. The cage was not a great time for me. And those nights where you were in the hospital. And after I hurt you. And after Leonard hurt me. And for a lot of years after I moved out from the Academy. I understand what you’re going through. Please talk to me… I don’t wanna lose you.”

Allison nodded.

Vanya took a breath. 

Slowly, she inched towards Allison, lips parted slightly. She stopped a hair from Allison. Allison could feel her breath, soft, ghosting on her lips.

“Is this okay?” She asked softly, barely audible.

“I don’t know,” Allison said. Emotions were rushing through her. Insecurity, sadness, she was TIRED- Rumor wanted it to happen though. 

Vanya started pulling away.

Allison crashed their lips together, teeth bumping into each other. A bit painful, to be honest- but it had such an intense, addictive feeling that bled warm fuzziness through her veins. 

Vanya sighed as they broke apart.

“Was that okay?” She asked.

Allison nodded.

Vanya presses her lips back to Allison’s forehead.

“What about Luther?” Vanya mumbled.

“After you passed out, I cut him off. He left, said he was gonna go live his life or something. But he’s not… not a concern.”

“Okay.”

There was a couple moments of silence.

“This is weird,” Allison said.

“Why?”

“I’ve been so… mean to you. You should not feel this way about me.”

“Debatable. Some would argue that I shouldn’t feel like this with you at all.”

Allison was silent.

“That being said, I will feel the way I do, no matter logic.”

“No.”

“What?”

“Let me make it up to you. I don’t want to just dive into what this could be, not like I did with Luther.”

“Are you saying you want to take it slow?” Vanya said, laughing. “Because we should’ve thought about that before you spent the night holding me.” 

“Why? It’s just cuddling.”

“I suppose.” Vanya looked at Allison. “We’ll go at your pace, then.”

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love vanya and allison with my entire soul


	10. Patches of My Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rumor gets some screen time yeet  
> introducing a new character, our favorite (JK) monky man comes back  
> fight fight fight fight

It had been years since the alarm had rung, calling them to action. 

Everyone knew the drill, almost too well- at the sound of the alarm, all of their powers took over, except Vanya’s. Everyone rushed to get ready.

Vanya grabbed Rumor’s arm to keep her from running off. “What do I do?” She asked.

“Go get anything you might need for a mission. You’re coming with us this time.”

Vanya nodded, steel in her eyes. She ran off.

“Make sure you get Grace!” Rumor called.

Within minutes, they were all loaded into the car- Kraken was driving, due to Spaceboy no longer being here to lead. Rumor sat in the front passenger seat. In the second row, Seance, Boy, and Vanya. Her eyes were brown.

Grace sat in the back with the medical supplies.

Rumor watched the GPS. It was taking them out of the city, to what seemed to be a nuclear power plant. She felt Allison struggle for a moment.

_ “It’s been so long since we’ve done this,”  _ Allison thought. Rumor was inclined to agree.  _ “What if Vanya gets hurt?”  _ Rumor fought off the urge to snarl.

“ _ She won’t. You underestimate me and her power.”  _

_ “We’ve never seen her powers in action, though. Hell, she doesn’t even know what’s going on right now. Violin hasn’t taken over. If she doesn’t give control, its Vanya out in that battle, not Violin.” _

Rumor growled lowly in her throat before turning to face Vanya. Vanya’s eyes were wide, trying to take in all the information at once. 

“Vanya.”

She snapped her attention to Rumor, visibly relaxing.

“You need to let Violin take control.”

“Why?”

“This will be dangerous. It’s why I’m in control, same with everyone else- we’ve been trained to let it happen at the sound of the alarm.”

Vanya’s eyes grew fiery, defiant. “I can defend myself.”

“And so can Allison, under normal circumstance. It’s safer to let Violin take control.”

“Rumor.” Kraken’s low voice cut through their conversation.

Rumor turned to him. “What?”

“We have five minutes before we get there. She needs to switch now.”

“I never would’ve guessed, dickhead.”

The car swerved to the side suddenly, Kraken baring his teeth. Debris and chunks of what used to be the Nuclear Power Plant rained around them. There was an explosion from the plant. Rumor turned back to Vanya.

“Vanya, now.” Rumor sucked in a breath. “Please.”

Vanya nodded, her eyes going white.

The car screeched to a halt. Everyone jumped out of the car and started running towards the plant.

Another explosion. Rumor had to duck to not get hit.

She turned to look at Violin, who was running beside her, instrument strapped to her back, a smile on her face.

Looking back at the plant, a smile formed on her face as well. 

“Race you,” She said. Violin didn’t say anything back, just started running faster.

Rumor let her get a bit ahead before sprinting full speed, passing her in seconds.

Panting, she crowed in delight-

Multiple explosions from various parts of the plant. They grouped up.

Kraken had his teeth bared. “The radiation in the building will hurt. If your human counterparts take control, you will die. Does everyone understand?” Everyone nodded. “Good. I will go in with Seance and Boy to find the cause of the explosions, and protect the reactors. Violin will stay out here and try to stop the damage, even reverse it, if possible. If not, keep the building together. Rumor, you will go in, take out any threats, and get any trapped or injured civilians out. Is that understood? GO!”

Boy teleported out of the vicinity the exact same time Seance and Kraken broke into a sprint. Violin pulled out her instrument and began to play, and a white glow started to envelop her and the building.

Rumor dashed into the crumbling building.

Alarms were blaring, emergency lighting flickering. Pathways to emergency exits were lit up. Even from just the entrance, there were piles of dead people, those who had succumbed to radiation poisoning before being able to get out. The radiation clung to her clothes, stinging on her skin. Rumor’s eyes watered.

She kept running.

Men with gas masks and guns had their necks snapped before they heard her approaching. Rumor saw movement from the corner of her eye. She whipped around, ready to take another life, before seeing it was just a little girl trying to get the mask off one of the men.

_ “She looks like Claire-” _

Rumor ripped the gas mask off, revealing a young man who looked a little too much like young Luther. She fought not to retch. Looking back at the girl, she helped her put it on before scooping her up and rushing her toward the exit.

_ SHE LOOKS LIKE CLAIRE SHE LOOKS LIKE CLAIRE SHE LOOKS LIKE _

Allison screamed, fighting for control. Rumor shoved her down, and set the girl down outside. Bloody tears streamed from the girls face.

“Thanks, miss,” she said before collapsing.

_CLAIRE CLAIRE CLAIRE CLAIRE_ _  
_ Allison thrashed around. Rumor turned away from the girl, trying to focus on the mission and keeping Allison safe.

Violin screeched, her music halting. The building shuddered.

Mission be damned.

Violin was fighting off five men by herself. Waves of energy flowed out of her, lashing out at any men who came to close, creating a shield when they tried to shoot at her.

Rumor dove in, killing them one by one efficiently, cleanly- a snapped neck, a throat torn out, a nose broken and shoved into the brain.

A gunshot rang out through the field.

Violin shrieked at the man, energy flowing all to him, suffocating him.

Rumor rushed to her, expecting her to fall to the ground in pain from an invisible gunshot wound. She searched frantically for it while Violin just stared at her.

She felt her wet shirt rub against her.

Quickly, not looking at the wound that she now knew was there, she turned and went back into the building.

“Remember the mission!” She called as she ran.

Violin started playing again.

Rumor made it up two, three, five, seven floors, wiping out the men in black, all armed with military rifles.

She hadn’t found any more survivors.

On every floor, if the people hadn’t seemed to died from the radiation, they were very obviously gunned down without mercy.

Eight floors. Twenty men. Women, children, and men littered the floor.

Twenty more joined them.

Nine floors. This was the top floor.

Gunshots from the room to her right.

Kraken, Boy, and Seance were already fighting. There was a man (a boy?) who stood at the back of the room, his hands splayed out. Various objects, including some of Kraken’s knives, whipped around them in a vicious tornado. Next to him was a man that was at least double his height. Burly, shoulders wider than his hips by a lot. A mask covered his mouth, but his eyes were-

Yellow.

Rumor swelled with rage, joining the fray. She ducked and weaved to avoid the flying knives, moving closer and closer until being thrown back by a huge metal sheet slamming into her. The side cut through her calf causing her to cry out.

This wasn’t working. Seance had already summoned Horror to help, but every whip of his tentacles were parried and blocked with various flying objects. Kraken was trapped in place, with all of his knives pointed dangerously at him.

Boy teleported to the burly man ( _ LUTHER LUTHER LUTHER I’LL FUCKING KILL HIM _ ) but got punched so hard he went flying into the wall. 

Boy didn’t get up.

Rumor screamed in frustration, her power bubbling inside of her, controlling her, overflowing-

**“** **_I HEARD A RUMOR THAT YOU STOPPED FIGHTING.”_ ** She practically screamed it. The objects in the air clattered to the ground. 

Seance and Kraken rushed to the man and restrained him, Seance giving him a quick, hard, whack to the head, causing him to pass out. Rumor limped to the burly man, and ripped the mask off.

Spaceboy sneered at her.

She stumbled back, her breath catching in her throat. 

She felt tears run down her cheeks.

“Rumor, he’s too dangerous!” Kraken yelled at her.

She felt the power fill her up again, arcing out of her fingertips, ready to go.

**_“I heard a rumor that you left here, and didn’t remember what happened.”_ **

Spaceboy’s eyes went white, and he got up and left without a word.

“Why didn’t you kill him? He’s too dangerous to be left alive!”

“We don’t have time for this,” She snarled. “Get the kid and bring him with us. I’ll get Boy.” Kraken snorted, but lifted the kid anyways. They left the building. Violin noticed them, then changed the song she was playing- slowly, the building started rebuilding itself.

While she was doing that, Rumor went to Grace to get her wounds treated.

Allison took control, and screamed at the pain before collapsing.

Rumor took back over, and would’ve said something along the lines of “I told you so” if she had enough energy.

Grace patched her up quickly and quietly, and gave her a shot to fight any radiation poisoning.

She did the same for all of them, including Violin- after which, all of the powers collectively gave up control- and The Kid. 

The Kid woke up suddenly, and before anyone could react, he turned over, and threw up mostly blood. 

“Eesh,” Klaus said, staring at him.

The kid stared up at them, bloody tears from throwing up staining his face, bringing out the blue in his eyes. His breaths were shallow and shuddery. 

“Are you guys taking me prisoner, or were you planning on waiting until I woke up to kill me?” His voice was weak.

“We just want to know who sent you.” Diego said.

“Prisoner it is, then. You should know that neutralizing my hands does nothing for controlling my powers.”

Vanya squatted down next to him. “We’re not trying to imprison you. How old are you?”

“Seventeen.” Klaus sucked in a breath, no doubt remembering his time in Vietnam. A quick look at his damp eyes confirmed this.

“What’s your name?” Vanya asked.

“James Wilson. Born 1936, Detroit, Michigan.”

“Wait, wait, 1936? How the hell are you seventeen?” Diego interjected.

Five snorted. “Isn’t it obvious? He works for the commission.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi this is James and he goes by Jack and hes my baby and he has telekinesis and hes not related to hargreeves at all but he knows of him and whatnot him and five will either bond or they wont idk


	11. There's Nothing We Can Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hola, its been a hot minute  
> I've been hella busy and this is kinda a filler chapter and i dont really like it but its fine

Allison poked at her food shamefully, her gut twisting. She had spent most of dinner moving it around- maybe two or three bites actually went down.

Vanya looked at her, concerned.

“You okay?” She asked. Allison nodded her head.

“Worried about that James kid. He’s so young and he’s been dragged in a mess.”

“You wanna go check on him? I think they’ve been keeping him in the vault until he’s calmed down.” Vanya’s eyes dulled as she mentioned the vault. Allison didn’t blame her.

“We probably should. He responded best to you.”

“Yeah.”

They left their plates there, Allison’s plate full, Vanya’s empty.

Down to the vault. In the elevator, Allison’s hand found Vanya’s. Vanya squeezed it.

Apparently, they weren’t the only ones who decided to ‘check up’ on James. Five was in the Vault with him, discussing something while eating.

Allison pulled open the door. They both looked at them.

“More friends?” James chuckled. Five grinned tensely.

“I suppose that means you’re here with questions. Sit, he’s… amiable with explaining.”

James guffawed, and melodramatically said, “I’m hurt, Five! An hour of talking with me, and you only think I’m ‘amiable’?” He turned to Allison and Vanya. “Should I worry about… intellectual questions like yours from these two?” He asked Five, still eying them. He lifted a hand. “No, wait, don’t tell me. I can do it.” Within moments, he was chuckling. “The small one, possibly- if she works up enough nerve. The tall one, not so much. She’s actually not here, worried about me, she’s worried about… Vanya is your name?” He asked. She nodded. “She’s worried about Vanya. Ready to punch me if I keep running my mouth, too, it seems. And-” He sucked in a painful breath. “Allison? You should see a doctor.”

“Why?” Allison asked, as pissed off as he described.

“What you’re doing to yourself isn’t healthy. Think about it.”

“You’re a telepath,” Vanya said, awestruck. 

“Ah-ha, I knew she was the smart one. I see why you’re attached to her, Five.”

“What, so he can… read minds and shit?” Allison asked.

“And feel your emotions. And see your memories- experience them firsthand, if I focurs. And feel anything physical that ails you. Usually I tune it out, though. Tends to get… overwhelming. Very quickly.”

“I’d bet,” Allison said, all too aware of her stomach shifting painfully.

“Mm.”

Vanya cleared her throat. “So, seventeen?”

“Joined the Commission at 12. After they tried to kill my parents. I saved those… ungrateful… imbeciles. And they still threw me out.”

“First time you showed?”

“I wish. That only convinced them I was either a prophet or Satan. Turns out being gay is where they draw the line. Glad to see it’s… more accepted here,” he said, eyeing them. Vanya turned red.

“So you’ve worked with the commission for five years. Why?”

“It pays well. I was allowed once a week to see my sister at various points through history, which is better than what my parents allowed. It’s not a bad job- they helped hone my powers, taught me control. I had fun on most of my missions.”

“When did Luther join?” Allison asked.

“Ah, big one? Spaceboy, or something.” He sighed. “About a year ago. I saw part of his training to be a field agent. Strong dude. Lots of hate in his soul, though. I believe, about… three months ago for me, he went to the future for a mission, deviated, saw you two together, and snapped. His eyes have been yellow ever since.”

“Jesus,” Allison said.

“You don’t have to call me Jesus, my name is James,” James smirked at the laughter that came from Five and Vanya, as well as the small chuckle that escaped Allison. “Jack for short though. You guys don’t want to hurt me.”

“No, we don’t,” Vanya confirmed.

“Why a nuclear plant?” Allison asked.

Jack turned to Five. “I was wrong- Allison is asking all the questions bumping around Vanya’s head.” He turned back to face her. “Nifty little trick you can do there, hiding your thoughts. Think you can do it again?”

“I’m not sure I know what you mean,” Allison said. 

“They’re all out in the open now. Same with your memories- see if you can clear your mind, maybe?”

Allison shrugged, and brought other things to the forefront of her mind- Claire, Patrick and her fighting over Claire, the split, anything. She focused back on Jack to see his eyes glazed over, crying.

“Jesus, Allison. How are you-” He wiped his eyes with his sleeve. “Sorry. That was just… A lot.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“No, no, my fault. The pain hit me really hard, so I tried to look at what you were thinking of. I should’ve asked, too. God.” He drug his hand down his face. “Anyways. Actress?”

“Yeah, how did you-”

“Not a lot of people are that used to shifting emotions and thoughts on command.”

“Oh.” There was a couple moments of silence. Vanya reached for her hand and stroked it soothingly. Allison steeled herself. “You never answered my question; why a nuclear plant?”

“Ah. My apologies. The commission is still convinced they can kick start the apocalypse with enough power. Since, of course, you didn’t pan out,” He said, gesturing at Vanya. “They’ve been going for areas of energy. Can’t be that long before they decide to just wipe out the planet by force, I’d assume.”

“So what are we supposed to do?”

“Technically, there’s nothing we can do. Unless you want to take out the commission?”

“I already tried,” Five said.

“I know,” Jack responded. “That was… about two years ago now.”

“Two?”

“Yeah. The Handler needed time to heal and everything. You know.”

“Of course. But I didn’t think it’d been that long for you guys.”

“Course, you did a lot of damage. Gloria, the Handler… the machine itself damn near fell apart. It was fun to watch the havoc you raised.”

Vanya stood up, and took Five and Allison out of the vault.

“So, are we letting him out, or what?”

“Can we trust him?” Five asked.

“I trust him. He’s just a kid.”

“That kid has killed hundreds, if not thousands, of people. Do you know, without a doubt, where his loyalty lies?”

Vanya took a shuddered breath. Allison drew her in protectively. “Five, let him out. Worst comes to worst, we actively fight him. It’ll be fine”

Five smiled, like that was the conclusion he had come to. “Okay.”

With a screech, the vault door opened again.

“Thanks for fighting for my freedom, Vanya,” Jack said, cocky. “I suppose the open door means I’m free to go?”

“We’d prefer it if you stayed in the academy. I’d assume you understand?” Five said.

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls comment and love me i miss the comments


	12. Stars Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate it but whatever

James was an enigma. Vanya practically attached herself to him- if nothing else, after the past couple weeks of having her looking after her, it was a bit of a shock. 

To be fair, it was hard not to dote on him.

He tried his best to be helpful, usually by doing the dishes or washing his own (and other people’s) laundry. Grace was definitely grateful to have him around. On top of that, it’s hard to be jealous of a little kid who wakes up screaming.

He never said what he had nightmares about, but it was a common occurance to wake up and stumble across him and Klaus playing cards in the middle of the night, Klaus puffing on a cigarette, James cradling whiskey, eyes red and puffy.

Even Five liked him, and it’s rare that Five ever likes anyone. 

Regardless of Vanya’s impromptu adoption of him, it seemed well received, if not reciprocated. More than once, Allison had come into Vanya’s room while she was practicing to see James laying on her bed, random objects suspended above his head, circling around.

That was definitely among the good parts of having him around. Allison would always feel at peace when they were on Vanya’s (tiny) bed together, just listening to her play.

She should’ve known it would change.

It happened subtly, without her really noticing. But everyone else noticed.

The food in the trash can. The medication in her room, maybe not prescribed, per se, but not necessarily illegal. Her skin started yellowing, one or two skipped meals turned into two or three days of not eating, her gut twisting into her throat at the sight and scent of food. 

The only times she smiled any more was when she was with James and Vanya. It should’ve been a sign, how drastically her mood improved when she walked into the room.

How James slowly started declining.

At night, Vanya would stroke her hair and remind her that she loved her, and that Allison could tell her anything.

James would always flinch when she walked into the room.

Yeah, she should’ve known.

* * *

It was a Monday morning, a couple weeks after James had joined them. Allison had walked into the kitchen, intending on getting coffee.

James flinched, but held out a plate of waffles. It had a little smiley face made of strawberries and whip cream on it.

“I made some for you.”

She smiled, but waved her mug around. “Thanks, but I usually only drink coffee in the morning. Three cream, five sugar.”

James sighed. “Please?”

Guilt twinged in her heart. “I appreciate it, Jack, but no thank you. I’m not hungry.”

He put the plate down, eyes filled with tears. “You never eat, though! Even if I didn’t care, it’s so painful all the time, feeling how you’re feeling, sucking it into myself, because I don’t want you feeling like this!”

Allison’s eyes widened in realization. “You’ve been messing with my emotions. That’s why I feel calm around you.”

“And it hurts! You’re starving yourself and you’ll die at this rate!”

“How dare you?” Allison’s voice shook. 

A shuddered breath sounded behind her. James’s eyes widened in fear.

“You’ve been starving yourself?” Vanya’s voice cracked. Allison turned to look at her, horrified.

“Vanya, it’s not what you think, I-”

“I thought you were just getting the flu or something, really slowly! I guess that’s my fault for being stupid.” She turned on her heel and walked out.

“No, that’s… that’s not what’s happening…” Allison felt tears prick the corners of her eyes. She sunk to the ground slowly.

“I… I didn’t mean…” Jack’s voice was filled with despair, his breath shallow. “I can’t breath. Vanya… Allison, can’t…” His eyes rolled into the back of his head as he fell to the ground. Allison felt a wave of anguish hit her. A wail could be heard from upstairs.

Footsteps thundered above her as someone looked for Vanya.

Allison was curled into a ball, hyperventilating. Someone crouched down and picked up Jack.

No one touched her. 

She looked up after a solid minute of silence.

Everyone, including Luther and Jack, was standing in front of her, watching her.

Vanya’s eyes were cold. “I’ve done nothing other than take care of you. Always. I’ve put my life on the line for you. And this is the thanks I get?” Her voice was distorted. Allison blinked away more tears.

“I wanted a life with you, and you through that away. Who’s going to love you now?” Luther’s voice boomed, his scowl too close to dad’s-

“Your marriage fell apart because of you. Now your family can’t even stand you. Why would you be so cruel?” Diego laughed, his voice like nails on a chalkboard.

Klaus joined him. “She doesn’t even have it that bad. She was one of Dad’s favorites! She needs to suck it up because everyone has it worse than her-”

Jack came up to her. “Look at me, Allison. I’ve been trying to help you, and it’s been KILLING me. It’s your fault.”

Five crouched down in front of her, his eyes soft, gentle. 

“You weren’t worth saving.”

A sob rose out of her chest as she curled back in on herself, eyes clenched, hands over her ears as everyone laughed at her, the sounds of their patronization bouncing off the inside of her skull-

“ALLISON!”

She felt a hand on her shoulder, shaking her gently. Slowly, she lifted her head, and was met with Five looking at her, concerned. 

“I… I’m sorry…”

His eyes softened noticeably. She flinched away from him, before getting up and running.

“Allison, wait!” Five teleported in front of her, catching her. “I don’t understand what’s happening! What’s wrong with all of you?”

Allison fell to the ground, sobbing hysterically.

“Jesus Christ,” Five groaned. After about thirty seconds, he sat onto the ground next to her, and brought her into a hug.

They sat like that for a while before Vanya burst back in the room, throwing a pill bottle down to the ground. 

“What the hell is this?” Her voice was cold.

The pill bottle was for weight loss. 

No prescription.

“Vanya, she can’t handle this right now.”

“And you think I can? You haven’t noticed shit. You’ve been holed up in your room. She’s been dying!”

Five slowly got up. “Vanya. Adding stress onto her won’t help.”

Vanya was silent for a moment. “Get out.” The air around them crackled with energy.

Allison curled further into a ball. Five’s footsteps echoed off the walls as he walked away.

“Get up, Allison.”

She didn’t move.

“Now.” The air whipped around dangerously. Allison got up slowly, not facing her. Vanya walked around until they were standing face to face. “What the hell, Allison? How long has this been happening?”

Allison shook her head.

Uneven footsteps approached.

“Longer than I’ve been around. From the looks of her memories, probably since Patrick broke up with her. This is the worst it’s ever been,” Jack’s voice was tired, if not broken.

The air shifted again.

“You’ve… been hiding this from me? For this long?” Vanya’s voice pierced her skull. Allison covered her ears.

“Vanya, it’s not like that,” Jack said, stepping closer. 

Vanya ignored him. “I thought you trusted me? I guess I was wrong, wasn’t I? Hiding pills that you’ve been taking illegally. Hiding how you’ve been hurting yourself. What else have you been hiding from me?”

“I… was ashamed…” Allison whispered it. Vanya laughed.

“Ashamed? You think that’s a real reason to hide it from me?”

“Vanya!” Jack’s voice snapped through.

“You don’t get a say, James. You’ve been helping her hide it,” Vanya snarled at him. 

“You need to calm down.”

“Or what, you’ll influence my emotions? Just like you’ve been doing since you came here?”

“ _ Yes! _ ” Jack’s voice sounded strained.

Vanya just laughed.

Allison looked up in time to see Jack grab at Vanya’s arm, his face contorting in pain. Vanya’s face fell slack, a wave of calm visibly settling over her. Jack, on the other hand, fell to his knees, silent tears streaming down his face.

“Please sort this out right now, I can’t…” Sweat beaded at his forehead.

“You need to see a therapist.” Vanya’s voice was soothing.

“I know.”

“You need to eat.”

“I know.”

“You can’t do this to yourself.”

“I know.”

“Those pills need to be thrown out.”

“Okay.”

Jack let out a howl of pain before falling to the ground, completely slack. Vanya turned on her heel and left her alone in the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry  
> pls comment and kudo its the only thing that brings me life anymore


	13. The Sky Is My Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is like,,, hella short,,,,,,,  
> also cw for kinda hinted at sexual content, as well as eating disorder talk

Turns out, her bed is very cold without Vanya there to hold her. 

She laid without moving, listening to the ensuing arguments between the family. Vanya was pissed, no doubt about it. So was Klaus, and Diego, and Five. But not Jack. Jack was just hurting.

The door slammed, the sound echoing throughout the large house. 

The door to her room creaked open slowly. Vanya poked her head through.

“Hey.” she cleared her throat. “You, uh, hungry?”

“Not really, but do I have a choice?”

Vanya presented her with waffles, smiley face in strawberries and whip cream and all. “Jacky remade it before he left. I think Klaus ate the old ones.”

“Oh.”

The plate was set down on her legs gently. “A couple of bites, please?”

Allison sighed, and picked up the fork. She cut out a bite, and put a strawberry on her fork as well. “How’d you find my pills?”

Vanya exhaled gently. “I… went through your room.”

“Figured.”

She looked up, surprised. “You’re not mad at me?”

Allison shrugged. “I’m not sure what I’m feeling right now, to be honest. There’s a lot going on. Not even Rumor wants to deal with all of this.”

“She doesn’t want control?”

“Hell no. Anytime I try to give her control, she shoves it back into my hands. Something about it not being her problem.”

Vanya snorted. “I don’t blame her.”

Allison hummed, and finally took a bite of the waffles. A rich, sweet flavor flooded her mouth; the waffles themselves were insanely light and fluffy, and seemed to melt in her mouth.

“That good, huh?”

Allison’s eyes snapped open. “Hmm?” she intoned, her mouth still full.

“You were making a face. Seems like those waffles are good.”

Allison chewed and swallowed before replying. “I’ve literally never eaten anything this good before. Everything usually tastes like ash-” she clamped her mouth shut before she said too much, and focused on cutting out a perfect square of a bite.

“Everything tasted like ash?”

“Hm…” Allison didn’t reply, but hummed to show that she heard what Vanya had said.

“Can you… explain more? If you’re comfortable with it.”

Allison shrugged, taking another bite, savoring the flavor. “When Patrick filed for divorce, everything just became… too much. I stopped eating because any time I had enough energy to actually eat, it tasted like ash in my mouth. Made me throw up, half the time.”

“I think I remember… seeing you. On TV. And you always looked sick.”

Allison nodded. “I got really weak. I passed out one day, and got taken to a hospital. They made me eat. And I started gaining a lot of weight.”

“Pills?”

“Yeah. I got them off a… friend. And kept getting them. I… would take them and still not eat regularly, but it was easier to eat more often with it, I guess.”

“You need to see a therapist.”

“I guess.”

“No, no ‘I guess,’” Vanya rubbed her face, looking five years older. “You need to see one. Jack said you could die.”

“Jack was over exaggerating.”

“Was he?” 

Vanya looked… uncomfortable. Not scared, but just on the cusp of it. Ready to run.

She wasn’t running, though.

Gently, as if worried she might scare her off, Vanya leaned forward, until they were almost kissing, breath dancing across their lips. Vanya wiped a speck of whip cream off her cheek.

“You’re making a mess,” she murmured.

Allison hummed in agreement, closing the distance.

It was gentle, with Vanya keeping it steady. Wherever Vanya touched Allison was deliberate, sure, treating her like glass.

It wasn’t such a bad feeling.

When Allison pushed for more, Vanya broke off, whispering her name like a prayer.

Maybe Allison was made out of glass and didn’t know. But Vanya treated her like a goddess, too.

The plate lay on the nightstand, waffles half eaten, the only thing privy to the names whispered in grace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ill try to get more content out today as well, im sorry i haven't been consistent :(


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